“I don’t have confidence in my personality, but I do have absolute, total confidence in the Truth of who I am. And that is available for you because it is the same I Am.”

Quieting or shutting down the voice of self-hatred running in our minds often brings us to the spiritual search, and in that, it can be an ally. We may fear thoughts or feelings of self-hatred, but if we don’t want that merciless voice to rule our lives, we must question it, challenge it, and ultimately meet it directly. In this episode, Gangaji shares her own meeting with self-hatred and her great discovery.  Just in this episode: Gangaji joins host Barbara Denempont to introduce this potent monologue from the archives. She also announces a new six-part audio documentary, Finding Home, that traces her journey to realizing true freedom. It will be released in the Gangaji Media Library on May 5.  Learn more

“True inquiry is examining all of those places where you have assigned your identity. One of the spiritual identities is the one who is enlightened now, finally.”

For millennia, human beings from all walks of life have sought after what has been referred to as “enlightenment.” In this potent monologue, Gangaji offers a fresh inquiry into the nature of enlightenment, the trap we fall into when we seek it, and the possibility of recognizing what is more essential than any state of enlightenment and unenlightenment.

Papaji said, “It takes one twelfth of a second, and then your life is never the same.”

Our spiritual search often begins with a causeless moment of true revelation that stops us in our tracks. In just a split second, what is whole and permanent is immediately recognized.  As the powerful feelings, insights and emotions connected to that sublime moment subside, we often begin our search again hoping for the impossible—to repeat that experience. As this exchange demonstrates, inquiry can show us the way out of that mental maze to discover what doesn’t come and go.

“If you are willing to surrender for a moment any definition of yourself that arises however high or low, you will directly discover what lies underneath.”

Is there a relationship between our self-definitions and the desire to control? What happens when we set aside our definitions, is it freeing or frightening? In this monologue and exchange, Gangaji encourages us to set aside all definitions in a moment of self-inquiry to discover what is free of all definitions—you.

“Thought is a beautiful power that arises in Awareness. If that power is worshipped or if it is hated, then it grows into a tyranny.  You are Awareness, not the thought of Awareness, but the reality of Awareness.”

When we identify with the thoughts and feelings arising in our mind and body, we overlook our true face—awareness itself. Habitually following thoughts with more thoughts is the root of unnecessary suffering. In this monologue, Gangaji shares how it is possible to effortlessly discover that who you are in reality, is free and unthought.

“When you’re willing to be still…to stop this forward thrust of accumulation, of a lifestyle, you can give your life, the attention of your life, to discovering what is life.”

When we begin a search for peace or happiness, we may simply be looking for better circumstances, or wanting to feel less lonely, or hoping to release feelings of guilt or sorrow. As we walk that path we may fall into just another lifestyle or we may discover a much deeper truth—the truth of who we are, consciousness itself. How can we honor that discovery, honor our lives as we live each day? What does it mean to live a true life in the wake of recognizing the truth of who one is?

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are. Compassionately, ruthlessly true to who you are. . . true to the open heart.”

The most common question Gangaji receives at the end of a retreat is, “How can I trust myself to be true to the truth of who I am while living my daily life?” How do we raise children, pay the bills, go to work, or sustain a marriage and be true to who we are? Is it really a question of trust? In this episode, Gangaji speaks to what is actually closer, and more essential than trust.

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are. Compassionately, ruthlessly true to who you are. . . true to the open heart.”

The most common question Gangaji receives at the end of a retreat is, “How can I trust myself to be true to the truth of who I am while living my daily life?” How do we raise children, pay the bills, go to work, or sustain a marriage and be true to who we are? Is it really a question of trust? In this episode, Gangaji speaks to what is actually closer, and more essential than trust.

“The mistake is overlooking what is effortlessly, choicelessly, always here.”

How is it that we actually overlook the truth of ourselves? When we pursue sublime states of mind to attain “unity” on our spiritual path, we can go down a path that instead delivers an experience of separation. Gangaji invites us to simply be, and in that, discover what cannot be “done” and who you truly are.

Where is the life you want?

As much as we can fear death, we can also fear living a full and vibrant life. In this exchange, Gangaji helps a woman get to the root of what keeps her fear of vibrancy running. This conversation demonstrates how each of us has the capacity to discover how to live a true and full life.

“It was a fire. It was really a fire because it was a razor’s edge. All of sudden there are these huge groups. And if I identified even the slightest negatively or positively…I am sliced on this razor I am living on. It was really a necessary fire. I had to be quiet. I had to be still.”

This month we share the soundtrack to a special 30^th anniversary video honoring the community of volunteers and donors. The video begins with Gangaji’s first meeting with Papaji in 1990. After Gangaji speaks about her earliest experiences of teaching, we see what unfolded through community efforts in the years that followed. Includes featured music from Jami Sieber, Kirtana, and Amber Terrell.

“It’s a lie that any thing gives you fulfilling, true, deep joy. Joy is your nature.”

We can feel deeply conflicted when following our hearts doesn’t line up with what we or others think we should be doing. When we reach the proverbial and often frightening “fork in the road,” we have a choice to be true to ourselves. Gangaji begins this meeting speaking about the difference between being normal and being natural, and then shares one of the key “fork in the road” moments she experienced in her life.

“The error is that you are not what can be thought, or perceived, or felt. You are that which all thoughts, all perceptions, all feelings, appear in.”

In countless ways, we search for a “better” identity to replace who we think we are. This month, Gangaji speaks to the trap of misidentification. How is it possible to see your true face? Where are you looking for yourself?

“To play the role of yourself, which is the transcendent role, the role of freedom, you have to trust something unknowable.”

The themes of belonging, freedom from identification, and trusting our direct experience come together in this month’s podcast. This powerful interplay of themes opens the mind to the heart and invites an inquiry: What does it mean to be free? Where do you belong?