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A Conversation with Gangaji

The Search for Happiness
March 20, 2013,
Episode 6

It's absolutely normal for human beings to search for happiness. We all go about it in our own way. For some, it's the perfect job or being in a loving relationship. For others it is living in a beautiful house, becoming a parent, reaching for the next peak experience, or simply ending the pain we can feel inside ourselves. In this episode, Gangaji suggests that in our search for personal happiness, we overlook the happiness that is already here. Is our willingness to be unhappy the key to discovering the happiness we were searching for in the first place?

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I was in that place of "I give up. I don't know." And that's a very open place, actually.

On this month’s episode of Being Yourself: Self-Inquiry with Gangaji, we are honored to share Episode 4 of Finding Home, the six-part audio documentary series that traces Gangaji's spiritual journey. 

In the fourth episode, From Disillusionment to Awakening, Gangaji reflects on the disappointments, failures, and unexpected turns that led her to India and her life-changing meeting with Papaji. What appeared to be the end of a path became the doorway to a profound awakening. 

This intimate conversation is both a personal story and a listening journey—an invitation to discover that beneath uncertainty, disappointment, and disillusionment lies the possibility of discovering—home is here. 



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“I encourage you to let your heart be broken. Waking up to yourself has nothing to do with forgetting the suffering of others as if it never existed.”

How do we reconcile the recognition of truth and peace with the suffering, cruelty, and devastating loss we see around us or even in our own lives? How do we face real heartbreak, given this paradox can’t be reconciled in our minds?

Rather than turning away from outrage or despair, Gangaji invites a direct meeting with them—and points to the possibility that even outrage and despair can become a doorway to truth



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“It’s in fully seeing it all…that there is this undeniable yes in the core.”


“It’s in fully seeing it all…that there is this undeniable yes in the core.”


“The real healing of trauma is bringing your love and consciousness to it.”


“The real healing of trauma is bringing your love and consciousness to it.”


“If you are really, hopelessly lost, instantly you are found.”


“If you are really, hopelessly lost, instantly you are found.”


“Can you find a problem when the desire to attain anything is given up?”


“Can you find a problem when the desire to attain anything is given up?”


“There is conditioning in our mind streams, but what we are drawn by, what has brought us here, is closer and deeper than any conditioning.”











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“The real challenge is to include all, every aspect of yourself. Even the aspect that hates can be loved.”











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“We have overlooked what was actually innocent and was called stupid. We lost our stupidity and in that we lost our heart. Yet, we are haunted by the fear that we are still actually stupid.”


We fear being stupid or foolish and try to be brilliant and clever. It is an aspect of our human drive for survival. In this episode of Being Yourself, Gangaji speaks to the unnecessary suffering that can be created through the mind’s power to distinguish, delineate, and classify with ever greater subtlety. Without making that power wrong or bad, what if for just one moment, we give up that power and embrace our stupidity? What might be discovered?

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“You cannot learn the Self, you cannot learn Consciousness, you cannot learn Love, you cannot learn Trust, but you can learn how you deny that.”



After an essential experience of self-realization, we can re-identify with the definitions and concepts we hold about ourselves in our mind. How do we resolve the paradox of recognizing oneself as pure consciousness and being human, living an ordinary life? In this lively exchange, Gangaji speaks about the ways we fall back into patterns of egoic identification after an essential experience of self-realization.
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“What deepens is the mind’s surrender because the mind’s whole job has been to never surrender.”


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