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Being Yourself

Losing Your Enlightenment
December 19, 2024,
Episode 77

“Universal, limitless consciousness has no problem with feeling bad or feeling good.” 

When we experience challenging emotions or exacting mental states we may imagine we are “losing our enlightenment.” A day may start with oceanic feelings of bliss, but in the next moment, fear or rage or sadness appear. Are we really losing our enlightenment? What are we overlooking in our quest for the “good feelings?” In this relatable and lively exchange Gangaji imparts the task Papaji gave to her: Find out what doesn’t come and go.

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“If you are willing to surrender for a moment any definition of yourself that arises however high or low, you will directly discover what lies underneath.”


Is there a relationship between our self-definitions and the desire to control? What happens when we set aside our definitions, is it freeing or frightening? In this monologue and exchange, Gangaji encourages us to set aside all definitions in a moment of self-inquiry to discover what is free of all definitions—you.

“If you are willing to surrender for a moment any definition of yourself that arises however high...

“Thought is a beautiful power that arises in Awareness. If that power is worshipped or if it is hated, then it grows into a tyranny.  You are Awareness, not the thought of Awareness, but the reality of Awareness.”


When we identify with the thoughts and feelings arising in our mind and body, we overlook our true face—awareness itself. Habitually following thoughts with more thoughts is the root of unnecessary suffering. In this monologue, Gangaji shares how it is possible to effortlessly discover that who you are in reality, is free and unthought.

“Thought is a beautiful power that arises in Awareness. If that power is worshipped or if it is...

“When you’re willing to be still…to stop this forward thrust of accumulation, of a lifestyle, you can give your life, the attention of your life, to discovering what is life.”


When we begin a search for peace or happiness, we may simply be looking for better circumstances, or wanting to feel less lonely, or hoping to release feelings of guilt or sorrow. As we walk that path we may fall into just another lifestyle or we may discover a much deeper truth—the truth of who we are, consciousness itself. How can we honor that discovery, honor our lives as we live each day? What does it mean to live a true life in the wake of recognizing the truth of who one is?

“When you’re willing to be still…to stop this forward thrust of accumulation, of a lifestyle,...

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are. Compassionately, ruthlessly true to who you are. . . true to the open heart.”


The most common question Gangaji receives at the end of a retreat is, “How can I trust myself to be true to the truth of who I am while living my daily life?” How do we raise children, pay the bills, go to work, or sustain a marriage and be true to who we are? Is it really a question of trust? In this episode, Gangaji speaks to what is actually closer, and more essential than trust.

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are....

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are. Compassionately, ruthlessly true to who you are. . . true to the open heart.”


The most common question Gangaji receives at the end of a retreat is, “How can I trust myself to be true to the truth of who I am while living my daily life?” How do we raise children, pay the bills, go to work, or sustain a marriage and be true to who we are? Is it really a question of trust? In this episode, Gangaji speaks to what is actually closer, and more essential than trust.

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are....

“The mistake is overlooking what is effortlessly, choicelessly, always here.”


How is it that we actually overlook the truth of ourselves? When we pursue sublime states of mind to attain “unity” on our spiritual path, we can go down a path that instead delivers an experience of separation. Gangaji invites us to simply be, and in that, discover what cannot be “done” and who you truly are.

“The mistake is overlooking what is effortlessly, choicelessly, always here.” How is it that we...
“The secret of freedom is giving up the choice to escape yourself.”

A prison inmate’s letter inspires this month’s podcast. In one of the most loved monologues in the archives, Gangaji speaks of the essential choice to face what has been feared or run from for most of our lives. When we give up any idea of healing and directly experience the woundedness,  we discover a deeper truth—the truth of who we are.

Learn more about the Prison Program.
“The secret of freedom is giving up the choice to escape yourself.” A prison inmate’s letter...
At some point in our lives, we will experience a loss of innocence. Whether that disillusionment is with ourselves, our family, or with life itself, there is a choice that arises in the midst of loss. Will we fall into cynicism and self-betrayal? Or will we meet the pain of that loss directly and in that, discover the innocence that was never lost.
At some point in our lives, we will experience a loss of innocence. Whether that disillusionment is...
“You are free to discover yourself as Truth. You are free to rest in that Truth. You are free to be happy, regardless of your body, your thoughts, emotions, or circumstances.”

In this month’s podcast, Gangaji begins with a clear exposition on how it is absolutely possible to discover yourself as Truth, no matter your past history. Then in the lively exchange that follows, she speaks to how we deny the truth of ourselves and instead, cling to an identify rooted in our thoughts, emotions, and relative circumstances. Do you dare give up your self-denial?
“You are free to discover yourself as Truth. You are free to rest in that Truth. You are free to...
“There is no problem with pain. There is pain. If you are seeking something to avoid pain, that’s the suffering. That’s the search that must be called off.”

It takes effort to avoid our emotional pain. We can try to avoid it, but ultimately the common strategies of withdrawing, protecting, and dissociating from feelings of hurt actually turn emotional pain into unnecessary suffering. This lively exchange taken from the Gangaji archives offers a clear demonstration of how we can recognize the strategies we use and then choose to give up the power to suffer.
“There is no problem with pain. There is pain. If you are seeking something to avoid pain,...
“If you stop thinking about how to get out of the body that may be painful or how to keep the body that is pain free, you get to experience the truth.”

Physical pain is an essential aspect of life that serves the survival and well-being of the body, but we can easily turn that necessary pain that alerts us to injury and illness into unnecessary suffering. What is the difference between pain and suffering? What can physical pain reveal to us when we meet it directly?
“If you stop thinking about how to get out of the body that may be painful or how to keep the body...

Where is the life you want?


As much as we can fear death, we can also fear living a full and vibrant life. In this exchange, Gangaji helps a woman get to the root of what keeps her fear of vibrancy running. This conversation demonstrates how each of us has the capacity to discover how to live a true and full life.

Where is the life you want? As much as we can fear death, we can also fear living a full and vibrant...
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There are so many aspects that make up a human life: where we live, who we choose for a partner, what our spiritual beliefs are, how we want to raise our children, what political views we support. The list is certainly different for each of us. However, the least discussed and most vulnerable conversation we could have might be around the subject of sex. From sexual intimacy, to shame, to the tangle of addiction, today we're talking about facing the rawness of humanity and what that has to do with discovering the truth of who we are.
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This month we're asking the tough and less obvious questions about how we cause our own suffering. Is there a way that we knowingly or unknowingly receive something from our suffering? Is it even possible to suffer if we are taking full responsibility for our own lives? When calling off the search means putting an end to victimhood could it be that the freedom we desire is truly in our own hands?
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This episode takes a look at what it is we put our trust in on a daily basis. When we rely on our thoughts, emotions, circumstances and who we think we are then we fall victim to the roller coaster of life, because all of those things are subject to change. There is also the doubt that naturally comes from betrayal. Gangaji addresses the question of how we find what is truly trustworthy in the face of our everyday lives.
This episode takes a look at what it is we put our trust in on a daily basis. When we rely on our...
All of us will at one time or another be confronted with some type of acute or chronic pain, both emotional and physical. As humans, it's normal to try to search for ways to get rid of it, or at least find some relief. In this first episode of A Conversation with Gangaji, we look at the possibility of going underneath the pain to discover what is truer than the experience of pain itself. What happens if, for a moment, we don't try to fix it?
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