DONATE

Epiphany

The Medicine Woman
November 16, 2016,
Episode 2

Mica Carew comes from a long lineage of medicine women. Her grandmother taught her that if you quiet the mind you can hear another person's body.  And from the age of nine, that's the medicine she practiced.  In her twenties, she turned her back on her native medicine.  It was a sincere and desperate prayer for help that took her on a journey she never could have imagined.

00:00 00:00

More Episodes of Being Yourself




“Do you put more value on your doubting mind than you do on the reality of what is always present?” 


In this episode, Gangaji speaks about “the wheel of doubt”—addressing the way the mind generates doubt from the "fear of being open, or being still, and not knowing.”  While doubt has a very legitimate purpose in our lives, when we are caught up in a pointed search for certainty, it can become a life-long source of suffering. The invitation she offers is to recognize the activity of the mind and to recognize what is always here regardless of what thoughts are passing through our minds. 





“Do you put more value on your doubting mind than you do on the reality of what is always...




“Who I am doesn’t need to be thought. It’s here. It’s already free of thought.”

In You Cannot Think Your Way Home, Gangaji invites us to stop following the next thought and fall into the living silence that is the truth of who we are. When our search for home through thoughts, experiences, and attainments truly comes to an end, we discover that we never left home—we are home itself.



“Who I am doesn’t need to be thought. It’s here. It’s already free of thought.” In...




I was in that place of "I give up. I don't know." And that's a very open place, actually.

On this month’s episode of Being Yourself: Self-Inquiry with Gangaji, we are honored to share Episode 4 of Finding Home, the six-part audio documentary series that traces Gangaji's spiritual journey. 

In the fourth episode, From Disillusionment to Awakening, Gangaji reflects on the disappointments, failures, and unexpected turns that led her to India and her life-changing meeting with Papaji. What appeared to be the end of a path became the doorway to a profound awakening. 

This intimate conversation is both a personal story and a listening journey—an invitation to discover that beneath uncertainty, disappointment, and disillusionment lies the possibility of discovering—home is here. 



I was in that place of "I give up. I don't know." And that's a very open place, actually. On...




“I encourage you to let your heart be broken. Waking up to yourself has nothing to do with forgetting the suffering of others as if it never existed.”

How do we reconcile the recognition of truth and peace with the suffering, cruelty, and devastating loss we see around us or even in our own lives? How do we face real heartbreak, given this paradox can’t be reconciled in our minds?

Rather than turning away from outrage or despair, Gangaji invites a direct meeting with them—and points to the possibility that even outrage and despair can become a doorway to truth



“I encourage you to let your heart be broken. Waking up to yourself has nothing to do with...


“It’s in fully seeing it all…that there is this undeniable yes in the core.”


“It’s in fully seeing it all…that there is this undeniable yes in the core.”


“The real healing of trauma is bringing your love and consciousness to it.”


“The real healing of trauma is bringing your love and consciousness to it.”


“If you are really, hopelessly lost, instantly you are found.”


“If you are really, hopelessly lost, instantly you are found.”


“Can you find a problem when the desire to attain anything is given up?”


“Can you find a problem when the desire to attain anything is given up?”


“There is conditioning in our mind streams, but what we are drawn by, what has brought us here, is closer and deeper than any conditioning.”











“There is conditioning in our mind streams, but what we are drawn by, what has brought us here,...


“The real challenge is to include all, every aspect of yourself. Even the aspect that hates can be loved.”











“The real challenge is to include all, every aspect of yourself. Even the aspect that hates can...

“We have overlooked what was actually innocent and was called stupid. We lost our stupidity and in that we lost our heart. Yet, we are haunted by the fear that we are still actually stupid.”


We fear being stupid or foolish and try to be brilliant and clever. It is an aspect of our human drive for survival. In this episode of Being Yourself, Gangaji speaks to the unnecessary suffering that can be created through the mind’s power to distinguish, delineate, and classify with ever greater subtlety. Without making that power wrong or bad, what if for just one moment, we give up that power and embrace our stupidity? What might be discovered?

“We have overlooked what was actually innocent and was called stupid. We lost our stupidity and in...

“You cannot learn the Self, you cannot learn Consciousness, you cannot learn Love, you cannot learn Trust, but you can learn how you deny that.”



After an essential experience of self-realization, we can re-identify with the definitions and concepts we hold about ourselves in our mind. How do we resolve the paradox of recognizing oneself as pure consciousness and being human, living an ordinary life? In this lively exchange, Gangaji speaks about the ways we fall back into patterns of egoic identification after an essential experience of self-realization.
“You cannot learn the Self, you cannot learn Consciousness, you cannot learn Love, you cannot...
ALL EPISODES >>

Featured Episodes from A Conversation with Gangaji

The right book or person or opportunity shows up at just the right time. You meet someone unexpectedly who says just what you needed to hear. What are these moments of synchronicity? Are they just coincidence? Or has your intention or desire attracted these things that have somehow shown up in your life? Is there something beyond manifestation? If the peace and fulfillment we are looking for is available to us any time by inquiring inwardly then what is the role of positive thinking and synchronicity?
The right book or person or opportunity shows up at just the right time. You meet someone...
It's often said that if one is certain of the love that lies within oneself, the choice to be in a relationship or to be single is freed up. Then relationships are no longer centered around insecurity and identification. Some people feel better when they're in relationship, but that's not entirely a good thing if they're rooted in dependency. Some people are more accustomed to being single, but what if that's not by choice? And what about the feeling of loneliness we sometimes feel no matter who we're with? This month, we're asking, what does it mean to be alone?
It's often said that if one is certain of the love that lies within oneself, the choice to be in a...
When it comes to relationships, fear of abandonment can lead to all sorts of forms of self-betrayal. In trying to manage this very human fear, we can sometimes ignore our own knowing, all in the name of not being left. Ironically, these subtle or not so subtle attempts to escape being rejected actually result in our own abandonment. Telling the truth about ways we betray ourselves is ultimately liberating, but what do we do when we are betrayed by the person we are in a relationship with?

Gangaji shares her own experience when it comes to this inner and outer betrayal.
When it comes to relationships, fear of abandonment can lead to all sorts of forms of self-betrayal....
This month, we're looking at the subject of love and attachment. What is the difference between the two? We can love a partner, a parent, a child, a pet, a teacher. But what happens when we're attached to the object of our love? Does this attachment keep us from experiencing something we don't want to face, or is it the vehicle that helps us discover what love truly is? In reality, how much control do we have over what or who we love? Whether you're in a relationship, hoping for one or you find relationships difficult - this conversation is for everyone who has ever experienced love.
This month, we're looking at the subject of love and attachment. What is the difference between the...
He is a hip hop artist whose words and music have provided a message of clarity, optimism and peace to millions. For over 25 years, she has pointed us to freedom by inviting us to look deeper than our thoughts. What happens when two people from very different backgrounds come together to talk about skin color? This month, Prince Ea sits down with Gangaji for a special feature of A Conversation with Gangaji. Where does racism come from? How do we face the truth about our own prejudices? In these turbulent times, is it possible to transcend our differences?
He is a hip hop artist whose words and music have provided a message of clarity, optimism and peace...
How many times have we been betrayed by a lover, a friend, a family member or an institution? How many times have we witnessed others being treated unfairly, people we care about or even people we don't even know? And what about the state of the planet? Perhaps it's built into us as humans to want justice. And that's not necessarily a bad thing. But when we get caught up in this desire to remedy unfairness, what is it that we're actually looking for? What is the deeper question when it comes to our search for justice?
How many times have we been betrayed by a lover, a friend, a family member or an institution? How...
Have you ever asked what it means to just be yourself? The answer to that might seem easy, but maybe not. Have you ever thought to yourself, "I'm not quite myself today." What does that mean? Maybe you feel like you have to be a different person in different situations. Are you your sex, the different roles you play in life, your successes and failures? For some us, we can be so practiced at who we think we should be that the question of being our true selves is surprisingly perplexing. It could also be the most important questions we can ask. What does it mean to be yourself?
Have you ever asked what it means to just be yourself? The answer to that might seem easy, but maybe...
Aging is sometimes called the great humbler. Some embrace it. Some dread it. But most of us vacillate between loving the good parts and resisting the reality that our bodies and brains have a limited shelf life. What does that mean for our quality of life? Aging is an involuntary invitation to seeing how we are attached to who we want to be and where we are afraid to let go. But if we shift our attention in a certain way we might find our ideas about aging aren't quite as concrete as we thought.
Aging is sometimes called the great humbler. Some embrace it. Some dread it. But most of us...
When a strong emotion like anger or fear or sadness pops up there seems to be an automatic impulse to get rid of it, or at least to try and manage it. It's as if these feelings of ours are something dangerous, something that might overwhelm us, or at the very least, something that interferes with our lives. Is there a way to transcend these emotions of ours? What if we choose not to do anything with them? Is giving up the habit of trying to escape them a doorway to liberation?
When a strong emotion like anger or fear or sadness pops up there seems to be an automatic impulse...
Sometimes there seems to be a little competition that goes on within ourselves between confidence and doubt. I'm good at this but not so good at that. I'm smart. I'm attractive. I'm able. But sometimes it feels like I'm not. If doubt is nothing more than a bad habit and confidence is fleeting and somewhat superficial, then what's deeper, more trustworthy than both of those things? Is there a place within all of us that is rooted in a certainty that transcends both confidence and doubt? And if so, how do we find it?
Sometimes there seems to be a little competition that goes on within ourselves between confidence...
It's irritating at the very least when someone assumes what you're thinking or feeling, or what you need to do. Perhaps you have someone in your life right now who is just certain they know what is true for you. In an extreme way, perhaps it's even an abusive relationship. Do we ignore their projections? Do we not take them personally? Do we stay or do we go? If we find that projections in general aren't ultimately based in reality, then how do we find solid ground when it comes to relationships?
It's irritating at the very least when someone assumes what you're thinking or feeling, or what you...
How many times have we been triggered by friends, co-workers, family members or acquaintances in some way that seems separate from us? Perhaps we've found them controlling, needy, critical, arrogant or self-absorbed. Are they simply displaying difficult parts of their personalities or are they are mirroring back to us some part of ourselves we'd rather not see? Projections and assumptions cause all kinds of trouble in relationships. Getting at the root of them can open up all sorts of possibilities.
How many times have we been triggered by friends, co-workers, family members or acquaintances in...
In our everyday lives, we have ideas about what we like and what we dislike. We notice moments when we've made a mistake. But there's another voice that whispers in our ear. It's the voice of the critic. It's the judge. Gangaji refers to it as the super ego. It's the task master who speaks with the authority of God. It tells us we should be better, smarter, happier. It's like a club that we not only beat ourselves with, we also inflict this voice on others, whether it be outwardly or in our own heads. The question is, how do we put down the stick of the super ego, this God voice, and live our lives in peace?
In our everyday lives, we have ideas about what we like and what we dislike. We notice moments when...
The act of forgiving another, not to mention oneself, is a great power. Forgiveness has the potential to annihilate even the most intense feelings of betrayal and isolation. But what about situations that seem impossible to forgive? What is the cost if we are unable or unwilling to forgive? And what is revealed when we are willing to experience the pain underneath "should forgive" or "can't forgive"? This month we're talking about the complexity of betrayal and what's possible when it comes to forgiveness.
The act of forgiving another, not to mention oneself, is a great power. Forgiveness has the...
This month we're asking the tough and less obvious questions about how we cause our own suffering. Is there a way that we knowingly or unknowingly receive something from our suffering? Is it even possible to suffer if we are taking full responsibility for our own lives? When calling off the search means putting an end to victimhood could it be that the freedom we desire is truly in our own hands?
This month we're asking the tough and less obvious questions about how we cause our own suffering....
Some people might experience it as insecurity and for others it might feel like outright self-hatred. The desire to protect ourselves from this feeling of unworthiness shows up in different ways. There are those who try to outrun it by building themselves up in the hope that no one will see their flaws, while others tear themselves down as proof of this not-enoughness. Either can be seen as an avoidance of actually experiencing the core of what we perhaps fear ourselves to be. What would a happen if we gave up on trying to be "enough"?
Some people might experience it as insecurity and for others it might feel like outright...
This episode takes a look at what it is we put our trust in on a daily basis. When we rely on our thoughts, emotions, circumstances and who we think we are then we fall victim to the roller coaster of life, because all of those things are subject to change. There is also the doubt that naturally comes from betrayal. Gangaji addresses the question of how we find what is truly trustworthy in the face of our everyday lives.
This episode takes a look at what it is we put our trust in on a daily basis. When we rely on our...
The stress of everyday life presents endless opportunities for fear and anxiety to show itself. Whether it’s acute or chronic anxiety, it’s natural for us as humans to want to control it in the hope that it won’t get bigger. So we tell ourselves to “just let go”. But when does the idea of just “letting go” become a trap in itself? In this episode, we explore panic attacks, stress and the possibility that fear itself is just an illusion.
The stress of everyday life presents endless opportunities for fear and anxiety to show itself....
In this episode Gangaji takes a deeper look at depression, as well as some of the common questions that surround it. Is depression anger turned inward? Is it an expression of a deeper spiritual awakening, as in a dark night of the soul? Gangaji's exploration into the core of despair reveals something that we might not know is there.
In this episode Gangaji takes a deeper look at depression, as well as some of the common questions...
All of us will at one time or another be confronted with some type of acute or chronic pain, both emotional and physical. As humans, it's normal to try to search for ways to get rid of it, or at least find some relief. In this first episode of A Conversation with Gangaji, we look at the possibility of going underneath the pain to discover what is truer than the experience of pain itself. What happens if, for a moment, we don't try to fix it?
All of us will at one time or another be confronted with some type of acute or chronic pain, both...
ALL EPISODES >>

Featured Episodes from Epiphany

Episode #7
The Fierce Fire of Grace
Stevie Leppard had everything anyone could want on the outside, lots of money, fancy cars, a successful career, but on the inside his own self-hatred felt intolerable. Suicide seemed like the only way out. It was grace that would eventually save him, but it was a fierce grace.  How Stevie would go on to meet Gangaji is just part of his amazing story.
Stevie Leppard had everything anyone could want on the outside, lots of money, fancy cars, a...
Episode #6
A Gap in the Road
It was the middle of the night.  Harriet Watson was driving down a dark, snow-covered road alone, barely able to see what was in front of her.  Suddenly, she was startled by a loud thud.  In the moments that followed, her life would change forever.  From the frustration of a life of rigid rules and beliefs to the experience of profound freedom, this story is a testament to the trustworthiness of life.
It was the middle of the night.  Harriet Watson was driving down a dark, snow-covered road alone,...
Episode #5
Saved by a Poem
When you see Kim Rosen on stage performing poetry, she exudes a distinct sense of certainty. But the truth is that for a period of her life she suffered from a particular type of fear that was profoundly painful. Her prayer to be released from it's confines would be answered two different times. And both times that grace came in the form of a poem. In the end, Kim’s story wasn’t about making her fear go away. It was about meeting it and doing life anyway, in a most extraordinary way.
When you see Kim Rosen on stage performing poetry, she exudes a distinct sense of certainty. But the...
Episode #4
The Last Hustle: From Impossible Darkness to Unthinkable Light
Kenny Johnson was trapped in a life that seemed impossible to escape. You could call it a kind of hell. More than twenty years in prison, sometimes just fighting for his life. What he wanted was just to be free. What happened to him was beyond his wildest imagination. This month's epiphany story is about amazing grace. It's about discovering light in the darkest of places.
Kenny Johnson was trapped in a life that seemed impossible to escape. You could call it a kind of...
Episode #3
The Bridge Between Love and Hate
In October of 1998, a talented musician named Craig Johnson, along with millions around the world, was rocked to his core by the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard. It was a hate crime, a hate crime against gays. In the years that followed Matthew Shepard's death, although they never met, he and Craig would become brothers in the deepest sense.  At the core of Craig's story is the question, is love present in the midst of the unthinkable?
In October of 1998, a talented musician named Craig Johnson, along with millions around the world,...
Episode #1
Teachings From Grief
Trained as a hospice nurse, Carole Downing held the act of tending to people as they died as an honor and a privilege.   In her early forties, the mother of a young son, the unexpected death of her husband forced Carole to face death in a way she had never done before.  What she learned in the midst of her grief is a lesson for us all.
Trained as a hospice nurse, Carole Downing held the act of tending to people as they died as an...
ALL EPISODES >>

All Episodes Now Streaming. Learn More

Meet gangaji live

Attend live meetings with Gangaji and a global community in an intimate and potent online environment for self-discovery.

“I am here for you. We are here for each other. We are all in this together.”

PLUS A Rich Resource for Your Spiritual Inquiry

by theme

videos

podcasts

blogs

quotes

events highlights

Your membership includes a free audio download each month from our online store.
“Thank you so much for the last meeting! It was as if everything was spoken especially for me. My heart is overflowing…”—M, Germany
Join With Gangaji
Community Video Screening
Sunday, October 4th, 2026 11:00 AM PDT
This is a block of text. Double-click this text to edit it.
Theme: Theme Coming Soon
Join us for a monthly community video screening hosted by Gangaji staff. More...
MEDIA LIbrary

For access to all podcast series, all episodes join the With Gangaji Media Library. Plus videos, blogs, courses and more. Learn More

file-emptydownloadexit-up