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Epiphany

The Last Hustle: From Impossible Darkness to Unthinkable Light
May 17, 2017,
Episode 4

Kenny Johnson was trapped in a life that seemed impossible to escape. You could call it a kind of hell. More than twenty years in prison, sometimes just fighting for his life. What he wanted was just to be free. What happened to him was beyond his wildest imagination. This month's epiphany story is about amazing grace. It's about discovering light in the darkest of places.

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"Just as you are right now, present yourself fully, nakedly, with all of your imperfections and no hope of cleaning them up. Then see what is, see what welcomes you just as you are."


As human beings, we have a natural egoic desire to improve ourselves. It is part of our survival mechanism, but when that desire turns into an endless search for perfection, we overlook what is already whole.  What if, for one moment, you consciously choose to stop all efforts of self-improvement and simply meet yourself just as you are? What fear arises to be met?  In this recording, Gangaji reads a letter that dives into this essential invitation to stop. It is an opportunity to see through the lie that "something is missing” and recognize the true depths of who you truly, already are.


Learn more about Finding Home, Gangaji's new six-part audio documentary about her life story, her schedule of online and in-person events, and as well as how you can support this podcast with your donation.

"Just as you are right now, present yourself fully, nakedly, with all of your imperfections and no...
“I would never suggest that you get rid of the longing. Meet the longing, fall into the longing, and you are laughing, laughing, laughing.”

Perhaps you have had an experience of longing that won’t go away no matter how you try to satisfy it or get rid of it. That very desire may actually be pointing to a deeper desire—a longing for truth, for freedom, for resolution. In this episode of Being Yourself, Gangaji shares how we can meet the longing directly and in that recognize the longing is actually you calling yourself home.
“I would never suggest that you get rid of the longing. Meet the longing, fall into the longing,...

“I don’t have confidence in my personality, but I do have absolute, total confidence in the Truth of who I am. And that is available for you because it is the same I Am.”


Quieting or shutting down the voice of self-hatred running in our minds often brings us to the spiritual search, and in that, it can be an ally. We may fear thoughts or feelings of self-hatred, but if we don’t want that merciless voice to rule our lives, we must question it, challenge it, and ultimately meet it directly. In this episode, Gangaji shares her own meeting with self-hatred and her great discovery.  Just in this episode: Gangaji joins host Barbara Denempont to introduce this potent monologue from the archives. She also announces a new six-part audio documentary, Finding Home, that traces her journey to realizing true freedom. It will be released in the Gangaji Media Library on May 5.  Learn more

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“True inquiry is examining all of those places where you have assigned your identity. One of the spiritual identities is the one who is enlightened now, finally.”


For millennia, human beings from all walks of life have sought after what has been referred to as “enlightenment.” In this potent monologue, Gangaji offers a fresh inquiry into the nature of enlightenment, the trap we fall into when we seek it, and the possibility of recognizing what is more essential than any state of enlightenment and unenlightenment.

“True inquiry is examining all of those places where you have assigned your identity. One of the...

Papaji said, “It takes one twelfth of a second, and then your life is never the same.”


Our spiritual search often begins with a causeless moment of true revelation that stops us in our tracks. In just a split second, what is whole and permanent is immediately recognized.  As the powerful feelings, insights and emotions connected to that sublime moment subside, we often begin our search again hoping for the impossible—to repeat that experience. As this exchange demonstrates, inquiry can show us the way out of that mental maze to discover what doesn’t come and go.

Papaji said, “It takes one twelfth of a second, and then your life is never the same.” Our...

“If you are willing to surrender for a moment any definition of yourself that arises however high or low, you will directly discover what lies underneath.”


Is there a relationship between our self-definitions and the desire to control? What happens when we set aside our definitions, is it freeing or frightening? In this monologue and exchange, Gangaji encourages us to set aside all definitions in a moment of self-inquiry to discover what is free of all definitions—you.

“If you are willing to surrender for a moment any definition of yourself that arises however high...
“Universal, limitless consciousness has no problem with feeling bad or feeling good.” 

When we experience challenging emotions or exacting mental states we may imagine we are “losing our enlightenment.” A day may start with oceanic feelings of bliss, but in the next moment, fear or rage or sadness appear. Are we really losing our enlightenment? What are we overlooking in our quest for the “good feelings?” In this relatable and lively exchange Gangaji imparts the task Papaji gave to her: Find out what doesn’t come and go.
“Universal, limitless consciousness has no problem with feeling bad or feeling good.”  When we...

“Thought is a beautiful power that arises in Awareness. If that power is worshipped or if it is hated, then it grows into a tyranny.  You are Awareness, not the thought of Awareness, but the reality of Awareness.”


When we identify with the thoughts and feelings arising in our mind and body, we overlook our true face—awareness itself. Habitually following thoughts with more thoughts is the root of unnecessary suffering. In this monologue, Gangaji shares how it is possible to effortlessly discover that who you are in reality, is free and unthought.

“Thought is a beautiful power that arises in Awareness. If that power is worshipped or if it is...

“When you’re willing to be still…to stop this forward thrust of accumulation, of a lifestyle, you can give your life, the attention of your life, to discovering what is life.”


When we begin a search for peace or happiness, we may simply be looking for better circumstances, or wanting to feel less lonely, or hoping to release feelings of guilt or sorrow. As we walk that path we may fall into just another lifestyle or we may discover a much deeper truth—the truth of who we are, consciousness itself. How can we honor that discovery, honor our lives as we live each day? What does it mean to live a true life in the wake of recognizing the truth of who one is?

“When you’re willing to be still…to stop this forward thrust of accumulation, of a lifestyle,...

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are. Compassionately, ruthlessly true to who you are. . . true to the open heart.”


The most common question Gangaji receives at the end of a retreat is, “How can I trust myself to be true to the truth of who I am while living my daily life?” How do we raise children, pay the bills, go to work, or sustain a marriage and be true to who we are? Is it really a question of trust? In this episode, Gangaji speaks to what is actually closer, and more essential than trust.

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are....

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are. Compassionately, ruthlessly true to who you are. . . true to the open heart.”


The most common question Gangaji receives at the end of a retreat is, “How can I trust myself to be true to the truth of who I am while living my daily life?” How do we raise children, pay the bills, go to work, or sustain a marriage and be true to who we are? Is it really a question of trust? In this episode, Gangaji speaks to what is actually closer, and more essential than trust.

“Regardless of those people who depend on you, it is possible for you to be true to who you are....

“The mistake is overlooking what is effortlessly, choicelessly, always here.”


How is it that we actually overlook the truth of ourselves? When we pursue sublime states of mind to attain “unity” on our spiritual path, we can go down a path that instead delivers an experience of separation. Gangaji invites us to simply be, and in that, discover what cannot be “done” and who you truly are.

“The mistake is overlooking what is effortlessly, choicelessly, always here.” How is it that we...
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Money is woven into our very sense of survival. We ask ourselves questions like: How will I make it? How can I keep it from going away? And once I have it, how can I get more? Being human requires having money to pay for what we need, but in this episode of a Conversation with Gangaji we'll take a look at the possibility that the root of the financial insecurity that most of us experience, whether we have a little or a lot, may not be about the money at all.
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It's absolutely normal for human beings to search for happiness. We all go about it in our own way. For some, it's the perfect job or being in a loving relationship. For others it is living in a beautiful house, becoming a parent, reaching for the next peak experience, or simply ending the pain we can feel inside ourselves. In this episode, Gangaji suggests that in our search for personal happiness, we overlook the happiness that is already here. Is our willingness to be unhappy the key to discovering the happiness we were searching for in the first place?
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The stress of everyday life presents endless opportunities for fear and anxiety to show itself. Whether it’s acute or chronic anxiety, it’s natural for us as humans to want to control it in the hope that it won’t get bigger. So we tell ourselves to “just let go”. But when does the idea of just “letting go” become a trap in itself? In this episode, we explore panic attacks, stress and the possibility that fear itself is just an illusion.
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In October of 1998, a talented musician named Craig Johnson, along with millions around the world, was rocked to his core by the brutal murder of Matthew Shepard. It was a hate crime, a hate crime against gays. In the years that followed Matthew Shepard's death, although they never met, he and Craig would become brothers in the deepest sense.  At the core of Craig's story is the question, is love present in the midst of the unthinkable?
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Episode 1 Now Streaming. Learn More

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