When people would ask Papaji about therapy, he would say that the point of therapy is for both the client and the therapist to wake up. Meet Anasuya and her one-time client and fast friend, Alexandra. Their journey is the proof of what is possible when unstoppable love and a deep commitment to truth lead the way.
"Six years ago," writes Anasuya, "I met Alexandra at 12-step meeting. Her anxiety and physical and mental challenges were visible. Angry, frightened, and very effective at scaring people off, she was adept at all kinds of ways to keep herself isolated and protected. Afraid of people, startled by any sudden or loud noise, the smallest thing could be a trigger and the only way to control herself was to be alone. And yet, she came to a meeting every week, barely speaking a word, but there she was.
I don't how these things happen. Grace has Its ways. When I looked in her eyes, I could see the Light of Being wanting to be free. We spoke on the phone a few times. At that time, I had been inspired to facilitate study groups for A Course in Miracles. She attended the weekly meetings and soon realized that she wanted to see me privately for spiritual guidance.
In addition to severe abuse as a child, she suffered brain damage in an industrial bleach accident around the age of 40. She actually was dead for a few minutes and came back to life. She was in the hospital for another 3 months.
I encouraged her to tell her doctor about the accident and to make a list of symptoms to give him. She said she had never spoken of the accident to anyone.
Next was to assess the numerous physical ailments and put her in touch with the appropriate medical professionals; podiatrist, dentist, eye doctor. She was driving twice, sometimes three times a week, 120 miles round trip between two homes. All with legally blind vision. Why? Because she could only take a shower in SF and only do the laundry in Guerneville. For 35 years, this was her life. And no one knew, including her relatives and the few who she called friends.
I admit to being very frustrated at times.
"Her eyesight restored with cataract surgery, the pain in her feet relieved by proper care, and the doctor working with supplements to help restore brain function, she continued her lifestyle. Each week she would report, "I can't do this anymore", referring to the fatigue and anger of failing to manage the complexities of two households.
I admit to being very frustrated at times. There would be times when she was able to drop deeply and experience her true Self. But there was no sustainable change.
Alexandra then had a stroke and was now even more afraid to let go.
And then I met Gangaji and everything changed in my life. Gangaji affirmed in our meeting that I am already free and I saw the Light of Love in her as my very Self! I began to witness others wake up around me. Spontaneously, by simply being together. Listening and speaking from the spacious open silence that we are, something also began to blossom in Alexandra.
A deep compassion came over me
"I placed Alexandra and Ramana's names together under Ramana's picture. His Love would guide the way and leave "me" out of the way.
During one of our meetings, I asked her what did she truly want. "I just want to be comfortable", she said. A deep compassion came over me. What if Love IS true comfort? I let go of my idea of what fulfillment should look like for her, realizing that I had a preconceived notion about what her answer should be, and fell into rapport with her."
Over the next few months Anasuya helped her friend make some essential changes in her life style. She sold her homes in a matter of days, and found a place in assisted living. Free of the constant stress of managing her living situation, Alexandra began to relax. In the space that opened up, she was able to turn and face the fear and rage she had been running from all her life.
"Alexandra is now sleeping through the night for the first time in her life. More importantly, she keeps letting go into Love, into herself. We continue to meet weekly for deepening support. She is present, alert, and her capacity to inquire and give clear reports is something she can celebrate with deep gratitude and joy."
Over time, and with Anasuya’s love and insistence on not giving up, Alexandra has been transformed from “that scary, crazy woman who looked like a troll that lived under a bridge” to “literally skipping like a little child down the hallway, waving her cane in the air, giggling, and happier than I have ever seen her.
Love meeting Love.
"With every meeting of my own pain, fear, grief, despair and rage, supported by Grace in the form of Gangaji, Papaji, Ramana, Eli and the Leela School, seeing through the mind, the beauty of Self revealing the Love that I AM, always Here, Love serving Love for Love's sake... staying True no matter what ... Something deeper, Unknown, is living this life, all life, all my relations. Alexandra is my other me, Love meeting Love.
Love found a way.
With indescribable gratitude, Anasuya"
Thank you Alexandra and Anasuya for sharing your story with us, and letting your light shine in such a simple and heartfelt way!
“This is your resting place, your watering hole. Find what supports you, what includes you, and drink it in. Be nourished. Be enlivened. And when you feel thirsty again, drink some more.” —Gangaji
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