If what you really want is to discover the unconditional peace of your own nature—over and above any need to survive, to be in power, or to exercise control—then this requires a rigorous willingness to tell the truth and inquire into your own unconscious motivations.
The desire to be in control, the illusion of being in control, and the hope of being in control, are all based on the egotistical belief that you know when and what the outcome should be. If what you really want is true and lasting peace, you can begin by inquiring into what it is you are trying to control, and find the willingness to let that control go.
You need no model for letting go. You cannot do letting go. Letting go is not a kind of saintly passivity or not being bothered by anything. Letting go of control is a deeper relaxation, a floating in the ocean of consciousness. You can become aware of where you are holding on, and you can let go and allow the ocean to hold you. You can become aware that all your tension and clinging are unnecessary. You can actually relax and let yourself be supported. There is a deeper intelligence than the one you have been employing for power and control, and it is present here now, just waiting to be recognized in your life, in all moments.
Different emotions may arise as you approach the possibility of letting go of control, including fear, because to let go means you could fall, or you could lose something. Be willing to lose everything. Letting go of control is the same as meeting your death. Consciously meeting your death means discovering what is bigger than anyone’s power to control, what has no need of control. Finally, you can, blessedly, surrender to that.
What do I try to control?
As you investigate your attempts to control, ask yourself: What do I try to control? Be as honest as possible, and then even more honest. Be aware of any defenses to truly seeing, and be willing to drop these defenses. Perhaps you will uncover even more completely what has been hidden behind the closed doors of the mind. Through honest investigation these doors can open, offering a deep opportunity for surrender.
Open your mind to the possibility that each moment and every circumstance in your life can be a natural investigation into responding without controlling. See if you can experience the difference between responding to what occurs and attempting to control. Can you rest in your capacity to respond? Can you rest in your own innate intelligence?
What cannot be controlled?
Now you can ask yourself: What cannot be controlled? Perhaps through this investigation, you will recognize the enormous energy and mental activity that you have spent unnecessarily in attempting to control what cannot be controlled. Can you open to the possibility of trusting what remains when you let go of any attempt to control?
Continue this inquiry live with Gangaji on Sunday, February 21 at 11 AM PST in her upcoming webcast about Control vs. Responsibility. Learn more
Gangaji is the author of The Diamond in Your Pocket, Freedom & Resolve: Finding Your True Home in the Universe, You Are That, and Hidden Treasure: Uncovering the Truth in Your Life Story.