“The truth is that who you think you are, and who you think everyone else should be, is essentially untrustworthy. But peace itself, the space of pure presence, is absolutely trustworthy.”
Participant: Hi Gangaji,
Gangaji: Hi, welcome.
I’m having a problem with trust, because so many of the people who come into my life disappoint me in what I think they should be.
Perhaps it is your thoughts of what they should be that are ultimately untrustworthy.
So you’re saying my thoughts are the problem?
Yes. I guarantee you that your experience of disappointment is generated by your thoughts. Once this is recognized, then you don’t have to list all the disappointments one by one: first your mother, then your father, then your husband, then your son, daughter, lover, etc., and then God. All of those thoughts, all disappointment and blame, are based on past concepts of what needs to happen for you to be happy, for you to be at peace, for you to even be. The truth is you are still here, you are still yourself, regardless of all those failed expectations.
So am I supposed to wind up trusting others, or do I just give that up?
Right now, give up any thought of what anything should be. Give up the trust in your thoughts. Just right now, as an experiment.
But what about the trust—
—No wait, I’m saying give up your thoughts right now, just as an experiment.
Okay. Then I will just go to sleep.
Really? Go to sleep then … (pausing). Are you asleep?
No.
That’s right, you are not asleep. You were putting your trust in the thought, “Well if I do that, then I will go to sleep,” and that turned out not to be reality.
The truth is I have no idea what will happen if I stop trusting those thoughts.
That’s right! That is the beginning. Now here is an opening. You’ve realized you have no idea what will happen. Excellent. Now you can begin to see the habit of these ideas about what should happen, what once happened, or what will happen. You don’t have to trust those thoughts. Not as a religion, but just as an experiment, as an open investigation. Why not? Haven’t those thoughts failed you over and over and stolen your happiness?
Yes.
Yes! This is telling the truth.
Well, then I am utterly clueless.
Good. Cluelessness is a place of innocence.
And now I also feel afraid.
Yes, I understand. Fear can arise because innocence has been abused in the past. But right here, for this moment, give yourself even one second to be absolutely, completely clueless, to not know anything. Then tell the truth about this space of cluelessness.
The space is empty.
And where are you?
In that space of emptiness, I could say that I am not here, or that I don’t exist, but that is not true.
Yes, it’s obvious that you exist, is it not?
Yes. You are consciousness itself; how could you not exist?
But I need to trust somebody, or something … (sobbing).
And if you get that, what will it give you?
Then there will be something stable to rely on. Then there will be peace.
And where is peace right now?
Where is peace?
Yes. Your thoughts say that someone else has your peace, and they will give it to you if you just pay them some trust.
Yes… (laughing.)
Now you can see the absurdity of this. You betray your own peace and then project that out onto others. It is your own lack of trusting the peace that already exists inside you. All that is needed is to take this one moment to stop and experience the unconditional peace that is already here, having nothing to do with anybody else or any particular circumstances.
Yes, it’s true. When I stop, peace is here.
Now you can bow to all the people who have proven they cannot be trusted to give you that peace. No one can give peace to you, and no one can take peace away from you because it is already here, already you. The only one who has the power to take it away from you is yourself. You have that mind power.
Can I really stop betraying myself?
That is a very good question. What is the answer? Tell the truth. Can you stop this betrayal?
I can right now, but then what about tomorrow…?
I am always only speaking of right now. This is the only time stopping can happen. Now has nothing to do with the future and nothing to do with the past. Are you willing to stop this betrayal, right now? The moment you get into, “Yes, but what about tomorrow? I haven’t been able to do it in the past. What about so and so …” this is the betrayal. The betrayal happens in this moment only, and this is the moment of stopping.
You just demonstrated how simple it is. This moment is all you have, and in truth there is only ever this moment. Then the truth is obvious, the lie is obvious, and your addiction to betraying yourself, to placing trust outside yourself, is obvious. It is all part of the same package. The good news is that you are sick and tired of it because it is sickening, and when you stop feeding on what is sickening, then you are no longer sick.
Yes, it’s exhausting!
The truth is that who you think you are, and who you think everyone else should be, essentially is untrustworthy. But the peace itself, this space of pure presence, is absolutely trustworthy. It does not come and go. It is always here. And the only thing that is in the way of your experiencing peace in this moment is some thought that it is someplace else.
The spaciousness that is the truth of your being, the purity of your own consciousness, is absolutely, completely trustworthy. Thoughts of who you are, feelings of who you are, and conclusions of who you are, appear and change and disappear. That is the experience of being incarnate on this planet. Who you truly are is changeless peace. To trust that, to trust yourself, is to not trust any image of yourself or any thought of yourself. It is to trust the truth of yourself, which cannot be thought.
Right now, if you are thinking yourself to be peace, drop that thought. That is not peace; that is a thought of peace. The immediacy of everlasting peace is before thought. Peace is always and only right here, always and only now.
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Gangaji is the author of The Diamond in Your Pocket, Freedom & Resolve: Finding Your True Home in the Universe, You Are That, and Hidden Treasure: Uncovering the Truth in Your Life Story.