The Most Important Thing in My Life

“Her embodiment—it’s a piece of art for everyone to see themselves in. It’s a confirmation for me of what I see in the world—I vibe with her.”—Andrea Grill.

 

Earlier this month, I sat down with Andrea Grill to ask her some questions about her involvement with the Finding Home series.

Andrea is an attorney in the Washington, DC area who was first introduced to Gangaji over 25 years ago. This year, she has been an invaluable support to the production team of Finding Home, helping with licensing and contracting music for the series.

It turns out this invitation came at just the right time. In mid-January 2025, when executive orders were being anticipated from the “Department of Government Efficiency” and Andrea was part of a team that might be subject to the elimination of legal staff, she decided to retire from her government position.

It was during this stormy and confusing time that, out of the blue, GF staff reached out and asked her to help with Finding Home. “It felt like an honor. I felt nervous and surprised by this acknowledgement”. Although she did not have expertise in this area of law, Andrea quickly agreed. “Gangaji and what she points to is the most important thing in my life.”

Andrea says she provided a “supporting role” and that Deborah Games did the lion’s share of the work. “Copyrights and licensing are complex, and we were all learning together.”

Despite living across the country from Ashland, working on the project deepened her connection to Gangaji and her teachings. “Her embodiment, it’s a piece of art for everyone to see themselves in. It’s a confirmation for me of what I see in the world—I vibe with her”.

In reflecting on the first two episodes of Finding Home, Andrea found that what resonated most with her is the notion that “I could not grow if I stayed where I came from” and also, “the hunger and adoration for Freedom”. She has faced many difficult barriers with her family and in society, some of which continue to this day. The American saying, “getting out of Dodge,” aptly applies here. It has been a common experience for many of us. Andrea expressed her lifelong attachment to Freedom, which has evolved into a living experience as part of the Sangha.

Andrea also spoke about how the Finding Home episodes led her to examine her own life and those pivotal points along the way, many of which were not pleasant. She, like many of us, was brought up to feel that “exposing your true feelings was dangerous,” to the point of being shunned or ultimately experiencing death. Andrea was surprised at the resurgence of these memories, which she views now through the lens of Gangaji’s teaching.

Lastly, I want to add that Andrea is also a volunteer with the Prison Program correspondence team. She states that every letter she receives from her assigned inmate is “Satsang from beginning to end” and provides her with the experience that there is true Freedom Inside.

 

It Takes Many Hands - Behind the Scenes of Finding Home with Deborah Games

You might be surprised to learn just how many pairs of hands have helped out in the creation of Finding Home. In addition to the tremendous commitment of Hillary and Gangaji to telling this story, and telling it right, and the hours of recording and editing that it has taken, it has also needed the help of key volunteers and staff to make it happen.

In this first of a series of reports, learn how volunteers took a crash course in music licensing to bring us the evocative soundtrack that haunts the early episodes.

Deborah with Mary G at Esalen

Gangaji and Hillary were determined to use the real music of the era, Elvis Presley, Taj Mahal, Joni Mitchell, and others that formed the backdrop to Gangaji’s early life. Here is a link to a Spotify playlist for Episdoe 3 that was created by another member of the team, Tushar Montaño. And here is a link to the music of Episode 4 on Spotify.

We are so grateful to Deborah Games, who took a deep dive into the complexities of music licensing to make this possible. Here is how she described the experience, and what was evoked by listening to Finding Home:

 

If you had to describe to someone why working on this particular project mattered to you personally, what would you say?

It was such an honor and joy to volunteer for the Gangaji Foundation. Having listened to a few episodes of Finding Home, I was profoundly touched and inspired. It helped me to reflect on my epiphanies and what I was seeking. I was highly motivated to obtain the music licenses because it was required to release the series, and I was thrilled for the sangha to hear it!  Moreover, Gangaji has made all the difference in my life, and I’m deeply grateful. 

Obtaining the music licensing felt like an adventure in not knowing, perseverance, and being my Self. There was so much support, seen and unseen. It was fun and exhilarating to be used as part of that flow.”

 

What moment or episode of Finding Home has impacted you the most so far?

The moment of Finding Home that most impacted me was in Episode One. After Gangaji talked about her early years at the Preventorium, a forgotten childhood memory surfaced for me - one of suffering. After seeing it, I saw through it, and sobbed tears of relief in recognizing it wasn’t true. An old hungry ghost was freed. Each episode had gifts for me, but this one was the most healing.

 

Did any of Gangaji’s epiphanies and realizations spark any of your own while working on this project?

When Gangaji left her first marriage because she felt the limits of it, it paralleled when I left a career in my late twenties. Following college, I worked as a financial analyst after receiving a degree in finance. My roommate introduced me to a nearby Rudolph Steiner community and Waldorf Teacher School. I took a class in spiritual science, where they talked about Christ Consciousness and the value of being present. I was intensely fascinated - this was what I had wanted to know. I enrolled in the evening program of the orientation year to become a Waldorf teacher. After a year, I recognized I wanted a Waldorf education more than I wanted to be a Waldorf teacher.

One night while dancing at a drumming circle, I saw a talented dancer, and when I asked if she taught dance, I learned she taught yoga. I attended her Iyengar yoga classes, and found I slept better afterwards and felt less stressed. Yoga opened my body and mind in a way I had never experienced. Eventually, my body became more flexible, and I felt deeper relaxation at the end of class. I attended her yoga teacher training, as I wanted to share yoga with others. She was also a massage therapist and introduced me to massage, which helped me to let go physically and release emotionally. I found that I wanted to live my life and help people more than I wanted a secure job. After a couple of years of doing yoga and seeing a Gangaji video, I left a job in finance to become a yoga teacher, attend massage school, and become a massage therapist. It felt so good to do work that was helping people to relax! What a joy!”

 

 

A Perfect Match - Behind the Scenes of Finding Home

The sound that comes from Jami Sieber’s cello transcends time and space. The first time I paired her otherworldly creations with Gangaji’s voice for one of the earliest episodes of A Conversation with Gangaji it literally gave me chills.

When we–Gangaji, Barbara Denempont, and I–embarked upon the journey to create Finding Home over a year and a half ago, I knew there was likely no better music to weave throughout Gangaji’s descriptions of her most essential shifts.

Jami appears in Episode 3 when Gangaji experienced a plant medicine journey that changed her life. When Gangaji recounts coming across Ramana for the first time, Jami is there to carry her words. The sound of her cello is present throughout Gangaj’s first trip to India to meet Papaji in Episode 4. And in Episode 5, without giving too much away, you will recognize the soul penetrating sound of Jami’s cello there as well when we hear about Gangaji’s remarkable ‘thunderclap’ moment after returning home from India.

It’s lucky and rare to be able to pursue a sacred project like telling someone’s life story, especially when that person is Gangaji. It’s equally humbling and thrilling to discover, one more time, that just the right people show up when you fully open your heart to what’s in front of you.

More About Jami

Jami Sieber is an electric cellist and vocalist whose music reaches inside the soul with compositions that are contemporary, timeless, lush, and powerfully evocative. Sieber’s musical path has traveled from classical to folk to rock/pop. Within her popular band “Rumors of the Big Wave”, she won the Northwest Area Music Association (NAMA) Award for Best Rock Instrumentalist. Since launching her solo career in 1994, she has performed her original compositions around the world, diving into dynamic collaborations with a wide spectrum of dancers, actors, poets, visual artists, improvisers, vocalists, and instrumentalists that span the globe. She has been commissioned to compose for film, theatre, as well as a popular video game. Read More

The True Desire for Home

Sign Up for November 15 Gathering with Gangaji on Finding Home

The Donor Collaborative is hosting Gangaji for a  gathering on Saturday, November 15 at 11 AM PT. Register here to get the Zoom Link

How about some truly good news?

How about some truly good news? As we pass the halfway point in 2025, here is just some of the impact you are having in the lives of others through your support of the Gangaji Foundation.

 

GF Prison Program

“My meager vowels and consonants don’t do justice to what you’re doing for prisoners like me. The things you have shown me through this slim book has literally changed my life for good.” — R, Eastern Correctional Institution

In just 14 months, over 6000 inmates have accessed Gangaji’s Freedom Inside digital course online, and more than 600 Spanish speaking inmates have started the Spanish edition. That is in addition to our regular snail mailing that reaches over 700 course members with rich content. Read more good news about the program, plus read prisoners’ letters that transmit the true impact of the Prison Program here

 

Enriching Gangaji’s Media Library

Gangaji’s Media Library is deepening with new offerings like Finding Home, a six-part series about Gangaji’s life, The Sacred Fire of Death: Reflections on the Katha Upanishad, and Gangaji’s recent audio compilation Enlightenment. More projects are in the works as we work to offer a true oasis for self-inquiry online….

 

Leaving a Legacy of Love - The Archive Project

What a lucky, lucky life when the opportunity to do meaningful work for a true teacher comes along. What a blessing that the Gangaji Foundation opened its doors to me 10 years ago now. I was setup with a fabulous work station and given video training by the endlessly patient Tom Hoffman. I can attest to the impact that videos of Gangaji giving satsang can have on a willing student. The transmission comes through. —Forever grateful, Melissa B. Fischer

For years we have carefully recorded and archived Gangaji’s meetings to make them available worldwide. Melissa has been a pillar in those efforts, ensuring the very earliest of meetings have been preserved. Read her story. And this fall, we will share more with you about the extraordinary work being done with new technology to make the many thousands of hours of Gangaji’s recordings accessible to future generations. Together, we can all leave behind a legacy of love. If you live in Ashland, and are interested in volunteering for the archive project, write to us at info@gangaji.org.

 

Behind the Scenes with the Donor Collaborative

Donors continues to meet monthly with each other and recently hosted a “behind-the-scenes” event with Gangaji on the creation of Finding Home. You can watch the recording here. On September 13, they will host a free online gathering for donors and volunteers. Learn more about the Donor Collaborative here.

 

Supporting Each Other in Spiritual Inquiry

Maybe I would have to return to living a nightmare when I got back to to New York, but in that moment, I could finally say “yes to myself.”— Russell, Scholarship Recipient

Gangaji continues to offer her support with a full schedule of retreats and online meetings while donors ensure scholarships are provided for every meeting she holds. After the May retreat, one recipient shared, “It was my first retreat experience, and it was so full and so deep. Words cannot express how I feel, what I experienced, who I am.” Read Russell’s full story here.

I invite you to learn more about the work of the Gangaji Foundation, how you can participate, and how you can serve this possibility of peace through self-realization.

It is a wonderful adventure!

In peace, Barbara

 

An Update on The Prison Program

Go Behind the Scenes of Finding Home

A Legacy of Love

Wakes of Joy

About Wakes of Joy

Wakes of Joy is a lyrical meditation on presence, surrender, and joy—an ode to the miracle of being alive.

A number of the poems are directly inspired by the words and teachings of Gangaji. Many are expressions of my own journey of discovery, of direct experience, and of deepening through self-inquiry. They were written over a four-year period beginning in 2020 (the year I became a member of the Foundation and began fully immersing myself in the teachings).

I first became a prisoner correspondent, then a transcriber, and finally (in October 2023), GF Prison Program Correspondence Coordinator. 

My hunger to hear Gangaji’s words was so great that the Transcriptions Coordinator, Joanna, had to keep searching for more and more audios to “feed” me enough to keep going! (I checked—I transcribed well over 100 talks!) Hours and hours of listening, writing, listening again. All of that immersion, all that deepening, has flowed into the poems I now send you, with my deep love, appreciation, joy—and above all:

G   r  a  t   i   t   u   d   e

 

Here is a selection of poems from Diana's book.

Trans Scribe

I transcribe, write down the words
spoken in Satsang.
I am not a scribe from ancient times,
but a trans-scriber,
a trans-former of spoken word into text.

This is not creative, you might say,
not like poetry—
but in its own way,
it trans-ports,
from trance to source,
from here to Here.

Call and Response

Are these cells echoes, calls of our ancestors?
Cries, prayers-struggles and triumps—
passed down,
so I may stand here, thriving.

The cells in my hands,
cells from millennia of life,
flowing now in me, my fingers...
allowing words to metabolize with grace,
and tell of sorrows, joys, and who we truly are—

Where do my loyalties lie?
And my longings?
Am I called to pass on
all I hear and feel?

My cells speak,
and listen too.

 

Deeper Into Yourself

If you are willing to fall
off the edge of the earth, off the brim of the sea,
off the verge of your ordered world...

You may discover
you've been holding on to nothing.

And you cannot fall off—
you can only fall deeper into yourself.

 

Bashing Against the Pane

A pair of bluebottles hum around the kitchen,
unbothered as I watch,
their bodies thumping against the glass,
again and again.

I walk to the window,
open it wide, and watch
as they fly back into the room.

Perhaps some flies prefer captivity
trapped by their hunger,
by their very name: "Housefly."
A
nd what of me?
Am I bashing against my own glass,
my own name: "Housewife"?

Maybe it is so.
Maybe it is not so,

Or maybe—
will I simply fly?

 

The Cloak and the Wind

Let me lay it down right here
on this moss-covered stone,
my cloak of countless pockets—
pockets stuffed for generations
with insecurities,
tales of human woe.

Just for an instant,
I lay it down,
drape it limp and idle
over this sacred ground.

Let longing lead me—
show me what remains
when my cloak of burdens
slips from my skin,
no longer holding the reins.

And I step forward,
cloak-less, unbound,
my body still heavy,
cold upon this earth.

Yet my spirit rises—
billows wide and seamless,
rides the wind, untethered,
blown across the endless sky.

 

Wakes of Joy

I am keeping vigil
with a touch as watchful as a bee.

I am playing
with a heart as open as laughter.

I am growing mindful
with a mind as full as an embrace.

I am...
waking up
with poems as joyful as can be.

 

Grateful Is Too Skinny a Word

Grateful is too skinny a word
to hold the joy that grows and grows—
seedcoats inside a pomegranate,
ripe to overflowing,
tended, watered
by You.

 

More about Diana

Diana was born to a British father and a German mother, and has lived in several European countries, including the UK, Luxembourg, and Italy. Now based in Germany, she is also exploring writing poetry in German, starting with Wandernde Wellen der Freude—her own translation of Wakes of Joy. Diana draws inspiration from poets, philosophers, and spiritual teachers, especially Gangaji. She remains joyfully and wholeheartedly committed to her role in the GF Prison Correspondence Coordinator and as the transcriber of the monthly podcasts. In her own words: “Supporting the GF is my heart’s calling, how I give this life in service to love.”🙏 ♥️

To order a hard copy or ebook version in English, you can go to Apple Books, Amazon or Barnes & Noble. The German version, Wandernde Wellen der Freude, which can be ordered on Amazon  or Bod.