Falling Into Yourself – Part V
What is Trustworthy?
As adults we have seen things and we have felt things and we have been hurt. We have been betrayed and we have betrayed. In this, we have discovered that not everything is trustworthy. I am never suggesting that we get back to some baby state or puppy state of wide-open trust. I am talking about as an adult, in the recognition that essentially everything in life is untrustworthy, where do we place our trust?
When I use the word trust, I am referring to what is always obviously here. Whatever comes and goes is ultimately not the truth. Even the most illuminating state of consciousness has a moment when it comes into being, a moment that it exists, and a time when it passes. My invitation is always to discover what does not come and go. Then you trust that or you don’t. To trust that is to surrender, and surrender is really just telling the present moment truth about what comes and goes and what is always here. In any moment, you can check and see.
Many people speak of trusting in God, and that’s a big one because trusting in God usually means trusting God to give you what you want or to do your bidding. In my understanding and experience, God is life itself. And life itself, God, is what allows my form to be present, what gives my intellect its intellectualism and my instincts the capacity to inform. One day this body will be no more, it will be finished, and that, too, is trustworthy.
Inquiry is a complete opening of the mind to what is here. What is life? What is death? Who are you, really? No one can check for you, and that’s the beauty. That’s in respect of your innate freedom. You are innately free, and that recognition has been covered by your desire to be safe, your desire to be good, your desire to have different circumstances, to feel a certain way, or to never feel a different way. That’s where the slavery is. Whatever has happened to you in your life, still your birthright is this innate freedom. Whatever you have done, whatever your karma is, whatever your destiny is, this is bigger than destiny, closer than karma. It’s your right, it’s your time; your name has been called. Any postponement is just some kind of obedience to slavery.
Although innate freedom is your birthright, it is not in your control. Life is not living for you. You are living from and for life. So once you really understand the surrender, you’re back to the wonder you initially had as a child. The difference is that now you are an adult; you know bad things can happen, mistakes can be made, things can be lost, regrets can be present, and yet the wonder is still here and alive within you.
You can’t get this truth from anyone else. You have to discover it for yourself. Are you separate from the silent awareness that’s within you? Does this that you are ever really come and go, or is it always here?
As long as the desire and the willingness are present to know the truth in the core of your being, you have the capacity to discover it for yourself. What is real, what is true, what is always here? The answer is alive within you. When you are willing for that to lead your life, you discover what is always absolutely trustworthy.
Let what comes, come. Let what goes, go. Find what is always here.