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Victim No Longer


No matter what the world is reflecting, whether circumstances are beautiful or terrifying, if your internal story is one of victimhood, you will suffer. It is very simple. If you are quite certain that you aren’t telling yourself a story of victimization, and yet you continue to suffer, then I suggest you are lying to yourself …


You are telling yourself some thread of an ancient story of how you have been wronged. Whether it is a story of how God, or your parents, or circumstances have wronged you, or how you have wronged yourself, it is all a story of you being the victim. Even the most violent aggressors, when the superficial layer of aggression is cracked, have a story of having been wronged. Striking out in anger or revenge always involves a story of victimization.


Seeing how this victim story plays out in your own life is an important step toward realizing true freedom. When you really see it, you see that it has to be recreated each time it plays. It may surface in your mind through momentum, but to play it through takes energy, attention, belief, emotion, and some kind of masochistic pleasure in the pain. Yes, it’s shocking! To see this operating within your own mind can be quite disturbing.


The willingness to realize the truth of yourself, the willingness to be free, is the willingness to no longer be a victim—regardless of pain, circumstances, or the actions of others. To stop being a victim doesn’t mean to trivialize the horror in your life, to deny it, gloss over it, or repress it. It means that you can fully meet whatever appears. You don’t have to hide, run, justify, wail, curse, or moan. You can just meet life as it is.


Are you willing to let your stories of victimization go? Are you willing to let all of those horrible aggressors go unpunished? At a certain point, you have to be willing to just call it off. Yes, there has been horrible suffering, and you have been on both ends of it. You have perpetuated it, and you have experienced it directed at you. Are you willing to end it? You are free to suffer, and you are free to stop suffering. No one can end it but you. That is where your freedom is.


Conscious freedom is the freedom to meet suffering consciously, and then consciously choose to let it go. The bondage is in being unaware of the choice. You can choose to be free, or you can choose to suffer. It is up to you.


This is adapted from Gangaji’s book, The Diamond in Your Pocket, 2007


Join Gangaji for a live online meeting on Sunday February 17 at 12:00 PM PST. Freedom Inside: A Course In Self-Inquiry is a monthly online course with Gangaji. This month our topic is Self-Hatred & Victimhood. Call in to speak with Gangaji and watch the livestream.  Learn More